I had my first child at eighteen years of age. I was not intending to be a mother so young and was unprepared for what was involved. I was pretty, young and extremely naive and gullible.
I wanted to have a home-birth. I lived in Byron Bay which was a beautiful place to be pregnant. I just loved reading about midwifery and health and the processes of the stage of development of my little child within.I felt powerful and full of light carrying the earth mother goddess energy. I looked in the mirror one day and noticed my face looked ripe as a cherry. 30 hours later I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
I was in love with her the moment I laid eyes on her. She was the centre of my life. I had three more children within the 11 years that followed.
I felt that the early mothering years were easy. I loved being a homemaker and being a giver of sustenance. I never felt to impose my ways on my child as I wanted them to find their own. I was totally against indoctrination on any level. Looking back perhaps if I knew myself better I would have more guiding but I too was a child and was learning about life as well.
As my children reached the near teenage years, sometimes I wanted to throw my hands up in air with mothering but it was never an option. Sometimes even as my children are older now, I wish I sometimes knew what to do. Sometimes love is not enough.
I have always wished a manual would instantly appear out of nowhere that would make me know if I am doing or saying the right thing. Mothering is not easy!
The things I do know have not been handed down to me. I have learned what I have through trial and error.
Looking back I know alot more now than I did back then. I wish someone had given me these pointers being a young Mum:
- Make sure your child eats healthy fresh foods ( food intake affects the childs moods)
- Make sure your child does sport or exercise regularly ( a child that spends time in nature doing sport or exercise is a happier child)
- Teach your children the beauty of natural surroundings (the moon, sunsets, leaves on trees, flowers)
- Teach your children respect for elders (at home it is the elders that are boss not the kids)
- Communicate everyday with your children in conversation about their day and how they feel about things and how you feel too
- Eat at the table everyday with your kids (they will learn to eat well and have appreciation of togetherness)
- Play sweet music often in the house
- Inspire your children to read by reading to them often
- Have your child learn an instrument (children can process emotions through playing music)
- Teach your children manners (i.e saying hello when they see a new adult friend of the family visit). They go a long way in life.
- Say good morning to your children when they rise and good bye as you leave
- Only let your children watch TV on special occasions. Try to get them to watch educational channels rather than junk and drama.
- Put your children to bed with the usual background noise in the house still going on (they must learn to sleep as life goes on around them)
- Teach your children the joy of giving (every birthday or christmas help them to get excited to give to others more than wanting presents)
- Teach your children to close their eyes and be still 5 minutes of every day (they will learn to know themselves)
- Don’t give in too easily to a childs demands (children love to feel their boundaries as when they do they feel safe)
- Teach your children to share the toy they love the most sometimes
- Teach your child to make his own bed and clean his own room from an early age (it is a lesson in self respect)
- Play with your child and act like giggling monkeys often
- Listen intently to your child and answer all their questions (when possible)
- Be affectionate with your children (lots of hugs everyday!)
- Don’t take anything personally from your teenage children ( It’s just a stage and it will hopefully soon pass)
- Remember to breathe
- Praise your children often
- Teach your children simple prayers from a young age (it will make them feel the presence of a higher existence outside of themselves)
This is just a tiny drop in the ocean on the enormous task of mothering. There is so much more. Maybe if every mother in the world could contribute to the list, there would eventually be a manual written, but all in all children need to feel love and that is the only constant in the ups and downs of mothering.Good Luck! Enjoy!